cleaning plates with cold water

A new pirate crew member had just spent his first night aboard ship. Since the ship was freshly provisioned, the cook served eggs and bacon for breakfast.

The new crew member was unusually fastidious for a pirate and noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he questioned the cook about whether the plate was clean.

Th cook replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get 'em, so go on an' finish yer grub."

That afternoon, while eating lunch, the new mate noticed specks around the edges of his plate and what looked like dried egg yolk. So, he asked again, "Are ye sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up, the cook growled, "Aarrhh! I told ye afore, them dishes are as clean as cold water can get 'em. Now, don' ask agin !

Later that afternoon, the new mate ran afoul of the cook's dog. "Cook ! Call off yer cur !

Without diverting his attention from the soccer game he was watching on tv, the cook growled, "Coldwater, come here and quit yer bitchin'."