Up and under the table

Two pirate couples were playing poker one evening. Red beard accidentally dropped some cards on the floor, and when he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Barnacle Bill's wife, Sallyforth, wasn't wearing any underwear.

Somewhat shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and since he was a shy pirated, emerged red-faced.

Later, Red Beard went to the galley to get some refreshments. Sallyforth followed and asked, flirtationsly: 'You got up awfully quickly after you dropped the cards. Why’d you bump your head? Was there something you saw that surprised you?'

Encouraged by her boldness, Red Beard admitted that, indeed, he had.

Sallyforth then said, "Well, if you want some, it’ll cost you 500 pieces of eight.'

Red Beard admitted that he was interested, and the price sounded O.K. Sallyforth told him that her husband, Barnacle Bill, worked late Fridays, and that he, John, should show up at her house around 2 p.m.

On Friday, after paying Sallyforth the sum of 500 pieces of eight, Red Beard and Sallyforth retired to the bedroom and 'closed their transaction.' Afterwards, Red Beard quickly dressed and left.

Barnacle Bill came home from work, on schedule, at 6 p.m., and asked his wife out of the blue: 'By the way, did Red Beard come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sallyforth answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'

'And did he give you 500 pieces of eight?'

Mustering her best poker face, Sallyforth replied, 'Well, as a matter of fact he did. How did you know?'

Barnacle Bill grinned: "Good. Red Beard came by the office this morning and asked me for a short term loan of 500 pieces of eight. He said he'd be able to drop by this afternoon on his way home and give it to you.